2011/01/31

30 Jan 11

我开学以来最开心的一天。

跟以往一样很累,但没压力,没东西烦(其实我也忘了要烦什么)

真的是很奇怪的,每一次在外面的时候我的头脑都空空没有东西烦,是enjoy到要命地说。

怎么知道一到家online,烦恼就冲着我来。有时想要不online,可是没有facebook我会死到很惨~它是我在家里唯一的娱乐~lol

还有看到我朋友们的post有点emo~我也不知道为什么emo去了~


今天的天气是冷到要命~水像很冰那样~冷死我=口=

不要再逼我吃东西了~虽然我要瘦容易但是要肥更容易!==我不要想放假的时候那样~==


我发现一样东西很久很久了。

就是有一些人,特别是女孩子,不知道是kepo还是没有看过人类这类型的生物,特别喜欢死盯着别人目不转睛,好,看就罢了,但嘴巴就是另外一回事。
有谁可以跟我说为什么?==

一进到去Old Town,几个女孩子就从头盯到尾,拜托,我纯粹是要等人啊~而且那试着不去理会+当作看不见的滋味很是难受!等时间过就算了,还要忍住看不到她们~

小姐,请问你是我,是不是会不自在呢?

这营造我的不安全感,很想找个洞钻进去!我是认真的。
啧~==

回到家的时候看到被加进一个Group~有点想笑的感觉 XD

 吶~就是这个咯~


 我有种无奈的感觉因为很莫名地说~赫赫~
不能公开那group~因为进去了会有点乱~

一进去看的时候~每个骂到乱

其实我还觉得蛮幼稚的。懂的人应该知道我在说谁。

拜托。不是lower form 的学生了。有必要每天都写这些东西来对别人人身攻击吗?

加上是女孩子,别开口闭口都是粗话连篇。

我真想block了她。

每一个人都很平等,掉高架子来卖但是是这样的糟有什么用。

 就这样一句话

如果她会思考会想,就不会写这些东西。

虽然对她个人来说是种发泄,可以不顾虑人家的感受。

但请相信一样不变的事实。

有一天会轮到自己。

就是这样邪门(我试过,怕了==)

不喜欢她的话,就别来往,没人逼你参她。就是这样简单。

做人流一线日后好相见。

没必要做到那样吧~虽然她真的的确那样。但这样人家是蛮难翻身的。

也留个退路给人家吧?

再怎么说,她也是有自尊的一个人。
她跟我同一家补习。每次找李阿lui讲话~JY JIA~我懂你很无奈 XD

笑死我了那表情~还有她应酬她的那副样子~我憋不久了!!

救命!
我不爽一样东西罢了~就是我听课的时候她会趁这个时候找JY 问东问西

我到底是在听Mr Han讲课还是听她讲话~气死我了~我有种念头想叫她安静~憋久了对心脏不好。


庆幸地说,我没有这样的基因。

啊。

说到思想。

今天中一句话气到了一下,所以我决定做超过我年龄的事。哈~

给人家讲还小的感觉~是无奈的==

没办法,生活就是要体验多了才知道~给我跌多几次吧~

我心理准备都做好了。



今天去了OLD TOWN,with Joycelyn.

不知道为什么,每一次见了朋友以后,心情会好很多,维持在最佳状态很久。

那一份喜悦真没办法叙述。

用最单纯的心去交朋友吧,朋友并不是拿来利用的,也不是衬托你的配角。

记得人有自尊。别糟蹋。
p/s

最近读书有点傻去了。把自己搞得有点像机器人。

==

呃。

就这样吧。

我们都附上全部的信任于对方,但是条件就是给予彼此不变的一切。
如果读过了所有的危机,那就继续拥有共同的幸福。

其实因为有彼此,其他人的话并给不了多大的影响,若定力足够。

其实那并不是件难事。

2011/01/30

29 Jan 11

Just went back from BP,tired seii arh!!

I was so regret went there,all clothes quality is asame as KL and Malacca but the price is double even triple higher than here.Obsulately not exclusive.So I just got a jeans a cloth and the sport shoes.I love that the most among all items.I mean the shoes.
I've sleep for whole day.Until 5am+just wake up.
Now I really wish don't to stay here first and better come back after few days.
Since I was back sure got something happened and to solved.Nonsences thing and I wish to just let it you know.
Seriously,don't make me feel sickening if not I really won't regret on what I did.I never wonder that but maybe I'll to be.arrgghhhhh!Really damn pek cek 1~

And one thing again about my relationship,again.

Still,I don't know what's going on.
Maybe I really never learnt how to treat one guy good but hurt.
I don't wish to see the matter had happened in pass now is hapenning in the same situation again.
Tired of that.Seriously.
I didn't bring along those thing,but what's now happening remind me all that.
I hate all that make me suffring everyday.
Thus,go on.

Forget about it.
Willing go old town with Joyce later =)

2011/01/28

28 Jan 11

Have to go Batu Pahat tomorrow for shop ...
Finally I can buy my clothes enough already,and stop tuition currently.
And mom says those book don't need to buy first coz CNY coming soon!HAHA!
This's the first time she treats me that kind..! XD
Ya still.We must remind ourselves wherever we are.
Don't to care about those things which are not involved us.
Consiquence really may be serious.
It's just fine if you're able to help,but what if you're just not obey as what you wanted?
Seriously,it will really affect lots of thing on ourselves.
And don't to spread temper on others even how moody we are,even we have our own character but just don't simply spread those temper,they're really just innocent enough coz didn't offened us.
Anyway just stay happy and live happy =)
Smiles is the only one world language and even the best language to interact with others =)
P/s
He's my one,and even what matter was happened betwwen us,that is our bussiness but not others'.Anyones feel fed up can just close his/her naked eyes,I don't need those rubbish comments.That's our being,and our feeling,our problems also,is it make others' fed up?If do,sorry,but that's still our bussiness.And don't even gossip amd make our argueness as topic and fun to entertaint own life.

I really don't know what are you thinking..
Asked me how am I recently,I think I already miss old days,when we're just friends.Just like,but won't hurt you so long as now.
Tell me what are you thinking in fact,how's your feel?
Haiz..
So sorry that I'm just too busy with anything in school and others lessons,tuition also.And I'm just tired,sorry for that...
I just feel that I don't deserve to love you,always.
Coz I always don't have that time to accompany you,even never leave a time for you.
I always let you alone..
I just hope that don't us argue sommore.
I just wanna appreciate this holiday before its end,I just hope that I can be with you when I'm just free.
Sorry for every faults that I've done.

2011/01/27

27 Jan 11

I've went back to society today!
iuu~I miss all of my friends so much,I love yours'  jokes!Don't need to care about my image while making funny with you guys!hahahaha!!
Hmm,I just realised that I got lots of work after back to Society.Thanks for your ideal Zhao Lun =)
I really appreciate that =)
Who else can give me any ideas  about the decoration of my Board??I need it!Urgent!!
Just too many works today,I can't even finish those works on time.Many things have to delayed!
Denis asks me go for the rumah sukan somemore!!
I asked him:huh!!???!meeting will be end on 3.30 you know!!Have to go for that afterwards arh!!No more peoples to joined meh???!!!!
Issshhhhh!!!It's just tooooooooooooooooooooooooo RUSH!!!!
On everything!
I just keep on looked at my watch,I was waiting the time to pass through faster and faster!
I didn't sleep yesterday and just straight away went for school,until now,I not yet take a nap-.-
As my life goes busier as the more challenge I could be make it.I'm just trying my best,although there're really stressful,but I just love the way I live for my own life ! XD
Puan Ong says Chinese period will be start by tomorrow after school,I'm wait that for so long - -
Finally it gonna start!!If not my mom will keep complaint about that,annoying to listen to her nonsences==
But one thing is I'm still not yet decide whether wanna go to school tomorrow or hang out to Batu Pahat????
Confusing..................................................
Hmmmmmm,lastly want to say that is just try our own best to don't care about others' bussiness,coz it will really bring more problems to our own,and just insist the way we are,its affect our path in front,seriosly.

2011/01/25

25 Jan 11

Every Sunday until Tuesday I sure get not enough sleep~
Luckily all quitely important lessons aren't in This two day but except accounting,I can rest more whne I feel tired...
Really beh tahan!Luckily En Seri didn't attent the lesson today!I rest for around 1 period!XD
But my class is just too noisy,always.
Mr Siew taught 5A2 Moden math,he's just over tthere.
Those guys in my class is always out of control~make my class seems like a market and cause Mr Siew come towards and scolds us,whole class kena~
Today was the second time he scolded us in this month,this time nearly punish to stand over the field.I ever tried that last year,with my friends,coz didn't out for reccess.
It's just fine for me to stand I just affraid to the sunlight.It makes my skin get burn!
I start to love my class!I'm just so happy here to having fun with you guys everyday!hahax..~
En Adlee has give us lot of homework and he read those sentences fast!We can't even catch up~
3 essays in a day~have to pass up on day also!oh my god...~I'm just stress! 
All is just busy doing homework,ouch I love that!XD
And Perdagangan also!There's lots of note in Perdagangan!
Aleen moves to sit besides Syaharah during Perdagangan ~And then Mittren moves beside me~
I asked him : Why move to here ??You can't read the words arh??
And then he answered me : No lah GANGGU sana!Tak boleh concerntrate!
Ouch!My hand really gonna break~copy lots of it until I got no energy to write somemore~PENAT ....~
Jia Rong asked me : Why you so quiet arh?Aleen!See~Heng Yee isn't 38 like you !
Then I said : Cheh!You not yet see when I become 38 leah!It will be frighten you!
Issh~she don't know that lah!
Only Lui and Aleen know that I don't like to talk when doing my work,that's why they say I'm just like kayu!Very bah!

Back to the issue on my recent life  ..
Somethings on my friendship and relationship..
I hate jealosy between friends,why do?Haiz..T T
And I've changed,for those who I don't care,I will not realised you are there.That's all.
And the most sickening is my REALATIONSHIP...
I will stop to think that from today
Even I'm just tired and stress,but I won't mention what else somemore.
It's just the best for me to keep quiet and that's all,don't to ask why,and whatever who wanna gives any comment on this thing,I'll just ignore that.
I don't need anyones to consule me,just let it to you.
I know you'r just sufer and tired.
I won't ask for split easily.But just as your friend says you already tired.
I feel that I'm not deserve to be with you.
3months,I don't to wish just end it,I'm not sactify
I wish to last long..
But if you're really tired,please just give up..
I don't wish you're that suffer with me.
Leave me here,and find for the one who can just gives you happiness not miserable.
I really don't deserve.
You tired,you suffer
But there're just more stress on me also,you never know that.
Don't ask me why,I've told you I'm just unsecure
You aren't beside me,I do really affraid I'll lost you suddenly without any reason.
Otherwise I face the sea,if not the feeling of unsecure is still there.
I need you.
It's just painful when I'm facing stress,instead of see you are tired of all of these,and me.
You aren't mine in fact,you should be others'
I never tell you when I'm sad,coz I don't wish to bring more annoyed things for you.
Don't think that I'm strong enough,facing you I can't be,unable to be.
I'm missing you,but there's a distance on our mind.
I really don 't know what should I do on next.........

0.41

我不知道真的怎么了,莫名的难过不想多说些什么。
很累的时候却不能睡,我讨厌的感觉。
或许我必须要承认我真的没办法失去你。不要说我害怕自己受伤,我并不是就你想象的那样。
但我没说。
我不怕会受伤,即使承受不了。但确实是我没有办法失去你,所以怕的让我把距离与你远扯开了。
或许你会觉得,这纯粹是我的脾气,但你不知道的是我害怕的感觉。
并不是你不在的时候我就能对谁动感情,而是你不在的时候我的不安全感会存在。
不安全感,就像是面对周遭,突然只想不停地往后退,但被逼了向前止不住。
我不想学会依赖,但是因为你我忘了这一回事。所以还要不停地提醒自己要往后退,别陷。
所以很活该的,我还是站在中间嵌进不了也没办法退后。
如果我真的觉得辛苦,就忘了我会难过。
记得自己会辛苦就好。
即使我会怕受伤,我都不想放弃了它。我在乎,我执着。
不要相信我,我不值得。
我不想吵架,我只想安静。
允许我把自己从你身边突然的拉远,我不想你的心情跟着我一样拉远,然后最后没了知觉。
很累,压力也有,因为忙了
但如果可以,我也希望的是你会这样不停的陪我。但或许做不到的是我。
我不懂得当一个女朋友,但我爱你
还是该说我爱你,但我真的不会当一个女朋友
记得你的辛苦就好,如果我继续沉默,我会没事,因为我的感觉也就这样安静了,连我自己也不知道
就盲目地走,跟着不顾虑的走下去,甚至忽略了你。
遇到问题的时候,我真的盲目了。
对于你,我真的没办法就这样的明智
这样的计划周全
甚至我说了什么,写的什么,也没有规则的下去
唯一知道的就只有我的感觉
感觉说,我是在乎你的

2011/01/22

22 Jan 2011

Finally,I understood the add math formula.........................Really make me pek cek when I can't understand that~=.=
Still,stress like hell!=.=beh tahan orh!! X,X
I've decided something,that is I'll back to my society and organised activities as last time.
Don't know what thing has ACTIVATE me!But I really wanna do so!
Ouh yeah~I love tha concert the most~Busy but I do enjoy it!
I am such a crazy person :D
Ouh yah,yesterday went for lunch with LEE JIA YING that crazy person~
We went summer to having lunch~HMMMMmmmm~its seems not busier than last time~
If for last time,there'll be full of students after school,late for few minutes you've to stand there and wait for nor change a place to eat coz its already full!
We made order and then wait for it
As usuall,I've order an APPLE flavour bubble ice~But I really angry with something~
And I won't go there somemore............................................
It's okay she takes wrong order,but you know,she never bother that even she know she does really take wrong order !!
Aiz~just forget about it~
We're grew up guys ~Glad with that coz all things has reborn~except quarrels
Don't to believe forever in friendship,don't to believe friendship too,coz it may happens anytime and even reborn although there's  a miserable in past~
Don't to wait for it,sometimes fortunate will arrange all that.
Don't worry ;)
CNY coming soon...Not yet finish buy my cloths!!!Issshhhh!!
Can I stop my accounting tuition on the next Saturday?:p
Mom says have to go Batu Pahat~Release me from that currently please~
Feel like wanna enjoy badly!
And have to back for take my Calligraphy competition~awaiting then XD

2011/01/20

20 Jan 11

Shit..now just finished school...
Beh tahan...~really freaking tired~
I gotta feeling...~That I AM SOOOOOOOOOO AFRAID TO GO TO SCHOOL ON EVERY THURSDAY in future...~==
Too crazy lah~lock the gate don't let us go back~
Even have to eat in school canteen too~can't go out for lunch~
Have to keep hungry until the school finished!
Hey sir!don't you think that you already too over yah???!!!!!!
Errrherrrrrrr~such a NICE experience huh!It's the first time I finished school so late and it's the first time I've know there're actually really got such way to enforced students to stay back for KOKU~
Why so''gia su''?!
Already busy on academic so still force us to join many activities what for?!
Do you ever think that we got tuition after school also?!
Feel like kena lock up!Stupid school!!
I just so bored and hot there!P/S I just wanna get my own freedom and I got tuition please don't wasting my time there and I wish to concern on academic only!
WASTE MONEY+WASTE TIME!
Isssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
I don't like to control by others lah please~Wants us to join because others school is more success than us?
I know which school you wanna compare~I comfirm that you won't get it IDIOT PRINCIPLE.
Many homework today arhhhhgggggggggg!
Tuition for accounting later~
Sigh.........................
Such an unlucky day for me!

2011/01/05

A sudden feeling attack to blog!

What I am worrying for since the terrible life get started?

Besides homeworks there're nothing else to go~

Yea,ready to transfer.Such a ma fan proccess indeed!

Don't know how long to go to done all the proccess,I am still waiting and patient those who rices me like a silly enough!

When my life become meaningless?

I can't let it be and go on ~

As I said I can't just let it and make it permanent but I have to change that

I deserve that coz it's my fortunate

I can't make it and making change on it as what I wanted actually

All can just change but except my SELF-TRUST

Just keep it up and non-stop

Its a only key to get successful

I need that whenever and wherever I am

I hate numbers but most like the words

But both have to keep on improve and can't depend on my own satisfylity

And for those who keep on hurt me I never please you to stop it

Just go on,seriously

I need yours words that super duper hurt to cheer me up

I will get stronger and stronger while those words deep into my mind 

Rumours?Just stay! ;)

I know I got my own flair too! :)
适应环境当中。 。 。
老实说中4的生活是的确要人命的说~~

还以为会像中3时遇到数学题就压力的哭了!但我没!哈~!
只是中4是的确没时间停止,甚至休息时间也挺有限的~

昨晚上了addition math. . .
挺好上手的~但是真的教很快的说~

呃~等着转学通知~
还需要多等个2星期~

学校不放人==
果然是间鬼学校~

气死人不饶命~
委屈死~我要上课不是要玩~

你不教我当然转~
难道教育局请你去学校坐着等领薪水吗?~!

那真的还是亏很大的说~
算了~很没眼看的说~

不教的话别来打扰我~
The Better School?!

里面乱的很!==

反正那么多人都休学~你放我走对校方来说也未必是件坏事呗~~
少交几位学生压力就少了点~

虽然我上课不说话~但反正对Better School的老师来说你有教就叫尽责~

不叫你问到明白也让他教的明白~

明不明白是你家的事反正他有教!!==

名校个头==

出那几本书又怎么样?!

会写不会叫也没什么~那干脆去当作家也别来当老师自己气自己

我不想读书读到那样的感觉浪费时间
不想把自己气死!

贿赂到缺钱~可笑又可悲的说
上课还缺桌椅~

那样辽阔的一间学校竟然半张完整的桌椅都没被我找出来~
我是来当学生读书还是你学校请来的校工?!

为了那一些桌椅要我折腾了几乎一节~
找没桌椅不让我进班?!

什么道理

就是最讨厌你们这一点~
蛮不讲理!但我忍着你!

别人上课我上课~干嘛就是我在上课的时候围了一堆找不到的东东所以浪费我的时间
我也有火告诉你

才在年头就给我一大堆的烦人事~
恶不恶心点?

要我怎么样想想即将又会发生什么事?
还有我那个妈~

不要对她乱说什么~最好放我~
家长都还真笨~

不知道你是给学校面子还是你真相信他们的鬼话~
烂校多烂人~

喜欢就buang喜欢就考一考就进了校~
你当你的学校是收容所还是垃圾回收站?

P/S : 我们不是你所谓的垃圾
看着中1生乖乖听你们说鬼话的样~

还真恨不得的说小孩们你们都被骗了~

当年的我们也是被骗的其中一批~

别把自己说得像名校~对我们来说还真的有点夸大~
考试要看pass不pass才能入校~

说得好像千载难逢的机会非常有难~
但我闭眼睛就给你考到~

被骗了一年就醒了呗~
现在这一年就更甭想我继续的呆呀呆~

少做梦!
脚是我的难道你有本事操控它?

不可能中的不可能 =)

2011/01/04

真的很辛苦. . .

很烦很烦~

承受得了的是压力~但我不再是form3的学生了~

不要用像以为我的功课像form3生来对待我~

不简单好吗

我也会有压力的~加上还要待多这个学校这个班2个星期我也不好过

不要以为我什么都可以超出你的极限

我不想恨你但不要逼我

你自己都经历过的人还要我形容那种压力吗

对我没有你厉害~

但至少我在努力~

就算这个环境是暂时的~我也会努力去适应~

呆一天都很辛苦~两个星期~

你明白怎么过吗·

把我的补习排满我没说什么~

但不要再逼我去接受这个环境~

对不起我没有办法~

我听你们的说不要给你们惹是生非因为你们都很忙

我没有~我忍住了~

但我也有心情的好吗~

不要再怪我说如果没浪费那几个月的时间我就不会只有这样的成绩

但我也不想的,时间也不会因为我犯错所以倒退

对,我又学习自立

因为你们很忙

我需要自己打理生活上的一切

转学后我不会给你们惹什么麻烦,也会尽量的帮助自己

但请不要在我的信心建立起来要努力时再一次的伤害我

接受不了这次的成绩的不只是你,我也很伤

不要顾虑自己的感受但是我也会很失望

我不是你想的那么坚强

我不想你们担心所以所有事都往自己身上推

我也会有沮丧的时候,我不是不在乎我的进步

在我拼着读书的时候你看到吗~我可以不要你的鼓励~但是不要给我加重伤害

建立信心要很大的勇气

不要只为了你的面子着想,想过我怎么样面对别人的眼光吗

想过别人看到我的退步我会接受什么言语攻击吗

可不可以把我的失败当做经理然后更努力担不是就这样没了希望

不要在刻意的攻击我

不要每一次都说爸对弟不公平

至少他遇到问题的时候,甚至是很小的问题他都可以随时的跟你们说随时解决

随时给他最好的所有

但我没有

对很明显爸最宠我但我都不跟爸说我没想要被安慰

你明白自己一个人扛的感受吗

在我的圈子里面你要把谁断送就断送

我真的很像你得到面子的工具

除了要不停的努力得到你要的东西我什么都没有

为什么要把我搞得跟别人有差别

为什么我不可以选择我要接近的人事物

可不可以不要因为你一个人的感受所以牵涉我

我不是你的影子

我让你没面子至少还有人可以安慰你但我需要靠自己建立信心

要那么逞强的话就只能这样的跟你说

看不下去的话就别看

换来给你的是压力的话就不要管

反正你也会说成绩是我的

如果我考好也不会关你的事

你要说什么就说

我被你说惯了

我的极限你不会想象的到